How pathetic am I to be sitting here listening to music writing things that don't even rhyme just because sometimes I wonder what it would be like with you in my life.
With my hair washed, legs now shaven, and brusies on my knees from friends rough housing with me I sit here writing wanting to cry tears way long past due from back in the day when feelings for you were freshly new.
Sometimes when I sleep your image will silently creep into my dreams, some days good, some days bad but your image in them gets stuck in my head and then for the next 2 days I have to work on making you disappear and locking you behind secret doors once again.
Some days I'm sad and some days I'm lonely and I think thats when I think of your memory the most. If I can find a way to change that to just give yo up then maybe I too can get on with my life.
The funnist thing about all this is that no matter how many pages I go through, paper I'll waste, memories I have, thoughts I'll think, or dreams I have you know nothing about it and never will.
I've tried so many times to tell you everything I've negelcted to say since we've met but why would you believe me. I've been told all I do is play games and if thats true then I'm sorry cause I don't really mean to. But nonetheless if thats the way you see me like most people do then why would you believe a palyful, flirty, drama queen like me.
One day I may tell you and just let everything spill out give you everything I wrote about you and leave it at that. You probably won't believe me thats okay because you've always been smart and very bright and I know one day you'll look back and think about your life. You'll put 2 and 2 together then hopefully you'll see just how much you do mean to me.
One day it might be too late and I'll be gone for good but know its okay and that I don't blame you I've never held anything against you. Sorry it took you so long to realize what you've always had in front of your eyes but just know that you will forever be indented in my heart.