I'm in a better place in my life which I've never thought I'd be in back in the old days of my never ending depression. It's wierd cause when I look back on my life, the way I did and portrayed things, even my old writings...I wonder who that person was and where they came from but at the same time relieved that they are no longer here. I wish that half of the people that I was friends with were still my friends despite the times when we dated but sadly I know that it will never be. My youngest is 7 months has his frist 2 teeth and is beginning to crawl and again I think of the past of how different his life would be if I were the same then as now. I think of the people who I was friends with and still are and ask them how they put up with me cause I'll never understand. I thank them and appreciate them more for remaining friends with me through the years especially through all that was. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about I was a major depressed person who cut herself even though I thought of dying it wasn't to kill myself but to feel cause at the time I felt numb to the world. I fucked over and hurt a lot of good people of my own selfishness. Thinking if I was cold hearted and hurt them first then I wouldn't have to be hurt in a relationship not knowing I was damaging myself more hurting people who I reall cared for but thought would hurt me. Through psycotic episodes and bi-polar I somehow made it this far but for those you were there and witnessed it and still to this day stand by me....it amazes me. I couldn't be happier in my life with my 2 sons and soon to be husband, but I miss my friends. Even if it was just a mere text message every now and then saying 'hi' would be nice but I know we have all grown our seperate ways and all have our new different lives. Please to all of my friends out there please say 'hello' once in a while 830-890-9614 I'd really appreciate it.